Time to Prepare

I have arrived.  The time that I have been dreading for seven years has come.  This period in my life that I have been pretending would never be if I will it away.  Living in a fantasy world.  Thinking that maybe, just maybe I wouldn't get sick again or maybe even end up pregnant.  Each month convincing myself that the cyst symptoms might actually be a miracle baby!  Of course it never happened.  No doctor has ever given me any hope that it would.  That didn't stop me from believing...there's a Journey song there!  After my stage IV endo diagnosis, I lost my right tube sometime that same year.  No one knows why!  Doctors don't like the idea of "blaming" one thing or another.  I had many abscesses following my surgery in 2006.  Most of them were drained with a really big needle via guided CT Scan.  I had fever and infection for days before the abscesses were identified.  I also had aggressive endo.  No one knew for sure, and at that point it didn't matter.  

None of it matters at all really.  On to the next stage of life.  Preparing for my hysterectomy.  I'm very pleased with my surgeon's cautious nature.  We sat down to talk several weeks ago before the exam.  He already knew what we were up against, my gyn had sent him 33 pages of records.  *(I regret not having kept my own records.  If you are beginning the endometriosis life, get yourself a thick binder.  Request copies of every ultrasound, surgery pictures, tests.  Keep good records.  I promise you, when you finally need them, you'll be too exhausted to recreate years worth of records.)  

I have homework!  There are several pieces of data my surgeon wants in his hands to prepare for the hysterectomy.  I'm calling it a reconnaissance mission   I've already completed a pelvic and an abdominal MRI.  The MRI was requested to look for an abnormalities on the uterus and bladder. Endo cannot be seen on any tests, but if it has invaded or damaged an organ, that damage may be seen.  I've already visited my family doctor.  For someone so sick, I'm clinically healthy!  EKG, chest X-ray and blood work were all good.  I'll have a colonoscopy in two weeks to make sure the endo has not invaded the wall of my bowel.  And on August 14, my big sister's birthday, I'll have diagnostic laparoscopy.  He plans to examine the condition of my bladder (cystoscopy) and get a visual of the colon, uterus, peritoneum...basically recon mission in my abdomen.  I admire his careful nature.  I'm thankful that he's humble.  I feel like I'm in good hands.

After August 14, I imagine I'll have some time to heal and get strong.  As I attempted to schedule this first surgery, the surgeon's schedule was booked out more than a month.  I suspect I'll have a follow-up appointment at which point I'll schedule the "big one".  In this perfect world where I think I can control something, I'd like to plan my surgery for October 1!  Then the waiting begins, who knows if I'll sleep between now and then!